So after my little melt-down on Saturday, I decided to simply take a break from the Copaxone for a while: until I can see my psychiatrist and my neurologist and can get them talking to each other. I haven't taken my Copaxone since Friday night, and already I feel better: more hopeful, a bit more energetic - even somewhat cheerful. I don't know how much of this is due to the placebo effect and how much is due to an actual change in my body's chemistry, but whichever it is I'll take it.

In a lot of ways, I feel like I've spent the last 18 months of my life - since my MS diagnosis - not living. Sure, I've done things here and there over the last year and a half, but I look back on my life as it was in 2003 and 2004, before I left for Boston, and realized I was really living then. I went out in the evenings to do stuff like swing dancing or go to movies with friends. I gave impromptu gatherings and they didn't exhaust me emotionally or physically. I actually wanted to practice the piano and go for regular runs. And I did those things!

What I've done since my relapse in June of '06 is survive: in the beginning I was too tired to do anything anyway, and I didn't care that I wasn't going out and meeting people because I was too fatigued to do so. But as my relapse symptoms improved and I started on the Avonex, everything began to feel like a colossal effort and I did the bare minimum to survive.

Continue reading "A New Year and New Hope" »

Posted by Zee at 11:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I went for a run today. It was the first run I've attempted since April and it wasn't too bad. It was a short run (roughly a mile) to keep myself from overdoing and angering the IT Band Gods, and it seemed to work from that perspective.

It should go without saying (given the dearth of discussion about it here over the last 6 months...) that the Portland Fit thing I was talking about earlier this year didn't exactly pan out this year. Umm, oops?

I have the excuse that I've been working full time and going to school part time and wahhh boo hoo, I just didn't have time. Oh, and also? I have MS. And I was tired. And there was a lunar eclipse a couple weeks back. And I ran out of tuna fish. All of which I have used as excuses for NOT exercise and all of which are ridiculous reasons not to run. (Well, except maybe the tuna fish one: that's a perfectly reasonable excuse for not running...)

Continue reading "Today, I ran..." »

Posted by Zee at 09:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

It occurred to me, after receiving an email from dad saying, "hey, haven't heard from you in a week! Are you ok?" that I haven't written in this here weblog in quite a while!

The reason for that is, of course, because I started back to work on Monday and, as a result, nothing terribly interesting happened all week! I mean, there was the assorted work-related interesting tidbits and fun gossip about work people, but I've forbidden myself to write about them on the Internet because... well, because I'd like to keep my job. I like my job and am very lucky to have one.

Anyway! So. I've been working and, thus have few fabulous tales to tell about my exciting adventures in the great Rose City.

Continue reading "This living thing...it's tricky!" »

Posted by Zee at 05:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Here are a couple random thoughts I've had over the last few days. There is a fairly remote chance that it'll spur conversation... Or cursing.

1. Does anyone know how long a standard bar of soap lasts, when used on a nearly-daily basis? Surely it lasts less time than an 8 ounce tube-thingy of Bath & Body Works Gardenia-scented Creamy Body Wash? I discovered this stuff a couple years ago, while I was still in Boston, and I don't think I've used actual soap since. It is wonderful. But, alas, it is expensive (even at "buy 3 get one FREE!" prices) so I'm trying to find a way to justify it to myself. I suspect I'm not going to be successful in this endeavor.
2. What exactly are small, unmarked bills? Small = 1s, 5s and 10s, presumably. But the unmarked thing? What does that mean? I mean, I assume that someone marks bills in such a way as to render them trackable, but how? And how do you know if your bills are marked or unmarked? You know Tuesday's post about Twitter? Here again, me being completely clueless.
3. I so wish I could find a way to motivate myself to do anything physical. I mean, aside from the occasional spontaneous yoga pose performed mid-living room, mid-afternoon in my pajamas because I've been so busy working I've not yet gotten around to getting dressed...
4. I love Miss Doxie. Today's post (and I say that like she writes every day, which she doesn't, which is tragic) is HILARIOUS. Funniest thing I've read all week. Or in my lifetime. Or, you know, whenever. But it's about one of her dachsunds, so I'm sure ya'll will like it.
5. I am still, to be completely honest, trying to figure out exactly how many dachshunds Miss Doxie has. Six, at least, I think. It's kind of like Yorkies or Ruffles potato chips: nobody can have just one...
6. A friend of mine text-messaged me this afternoon asking if I'd like to accompany him in a recital next year. Yay! The problem is, I think he wants me accompany him playing the piano. Which, ok. I've got one and all. And it's a year away. And I know how to play the thing. But, you know... it's scary! He and I are both about similar skill-levels when you compare his cello playing and my flute playing. But when you compare his cello playing with my piano playing? Well, there's just not much to say. He's WAY better. So I'm MUCH more comfortable performing on flute. But I told him I'd definitely consider it because, well... I do so enjoy playing music with others, and a challenge such as this certainly couldn't hurt me. Could it?
7. When did they add an entirely new, completely up-scale wing to Washington Square??
8. Do they sell anything other than cheesecake at The Cheesecake Factory? And if so, why exactly? If you've got cheesecake, what else would you need?
9. I somehow managed to miss three weeks in a row of ER. I've got the Tivo recordings to prove it. Is anyone else completely bored by this season?
10. And speaking of TV: exactly what are they doing with Audrey Raines on 24? She's catatonic... ok. But she knows stuff! And is anyone at all surprised that Jack managed to lose that circuit board-thingy in his swap for Audrey with the Chinese dude? And why didn't Jack just give Chinese Dude a fake circuit board and skip all the hullabaloo in the first place? (Oh, right. No drama in that!) Sigh. And this season started out so well, too!
11. I'm getting increasingly frustrated with my feet and legs. Zee to legs: you need to stop being MS-y. Right. Now.
12. A couple weeks ago, I stumbled upon this website, Moo.com. They sell these little things called Moo Cards. And they are, essentially, calling cards with pictures on one side and whatever-you-want printed on the other. So I ordered me up some to use as a handy way of giving out contact info when I'd prefer not to use my work business cards. They arrived this week and they are FUN! And apparently, there has grown up a whole little ecosystem around them. Who knew?
13. Despite my rather unsuccessful experience in my last go-round, and my continuing annoyance at Apple's DRM practices, I still want an iPod. NOBODY can tell me that marketing doesn't work. I need to stay far, far away from the mall.

Talk amongst yourselves. I'm going to bed now. :)

Posted by Zee at 09:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I've got some quick updates to share (nothing earthshattering, really) but first, I wanted to call this out:
I've been nominated (by yours truly, natch) for a couple of blogger's choice awards! If you've not already checked it out, head on over here and, if you feel so moved, throw in a vote for my site for Best Health Blog or Best Blog Design!

School:
So as I've mentioned before, my class this term is basically a refresher on all the web design classes I've taken before. In fact, I haven't even cracked open the primary text they made me buy for this class and I'm scanning the online lectures. This would be all well and good, if it were truly a refresher, however. But for some reason, it's the kind of refresher where they go all the way back to the very beginning and start you off there - with table-based layouts. Those of you who know anything about web design will know that the web design world is headed towards float-based CSS layouts. Table-based layouts are generally easier to throw together, but they present their own slew of problems and I've not used them for basic web design for at least a year. CSS is harder to deal with, but it is the way things are headed in the future and so I've worked hard to get better at it.

Am I good? Not really. But I'm getting there. So it's a bit disturbing to be thrown back in this class and required to use table-based layouts... I did ask if I could use CSS but since I have to turn in a site that includes tables I figured I may as well just start there and recreate the site again in CSS after the class is over.

Continue reading "Counting the days" »

Posted by Zee at 11:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

This morning was the second week of Portland Fit and, as planned, I joined the "purple" group - the walkers. And, you know, I think this is the best decision I've made in a while! I just felt so much more excited about getting out there this morning and I had very little trouble this week making it through the training walk - we did 4 miles and I could have gone a bit further to boot! I ended up walking at about a 14:30 pace, which isn't bad... I'd love to get faster but for now, it feels like I'm pushing myself, but not too much.

I also discovered today that I really hate having stuff around my waist. Specifically, today I had serious issues with my water bottle/pack thingy around my waist. With long-distance running and walking (especially walking), carrying fluids (and food too, for the longer walks) with you is the key to staying properly hydrated. For the marathon in 2003, I used a Camelbak hydration backpack system (the Siren was the one I had) and it worked really well. Unfortunately, the bladder thing that holds the water/sports drink got all nasty by the end of the season and I ended up having to throw it out. I kept the backpack portion, however, thinking I could just pick up a replacement bladder, but I just never did.

Continue reading "Much Improved!" »

Posted by Zee at 12:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)