Behind Blue Eyes

Momentary Reappearance

2008-11-21T02:25:09Z

So I'm finally past my 3 weeks of complete bat-shit crazy at work. It went well, for the most part, with a minimum of melt-downs. But OH MY GOD, was I tired. It's amazing how many things in life get cut out, not finished, not thought about, not dealt with because the only things you can do are the absolute necessaries: work, sleep, and feed yourself and the dog. I wish I were exaggerating, but during the crazy weeks at work I end up cutting out everything I possibly can because I simply don't have the energy to go anywhere or do anything extra.

Blogging, unfortunately, has been one of those things to go; as has blog reading which is almost sadder. I ended up just deleting all the unread posts in my feedreader because there was just no way I was going to get through them all, as much as I might have wanted to.

So that's where I've been of late - trying not to overdo, trying to take care of myself and the dog, trying to get enough sleep. My sincere thanks to everyone who's written and/or called lately; my apologies if I've not yet responded for the reasons listed above.

MS Sucks. Have I mentioned that lately?? No? Well, this is how I feel about it today: :-P

In other news, my body seems to be heading further and further down the vegetarian road, through no effort or action on my part and apparently with no regard for my feelings on the subject. For a while I was only repulsed by chicken and beef steaks and pork chops, but now the distaste has extended out to various forms of fish, clams and shrimp. Oddly, the exceptions seem to be bacon and those Hillshire Farms "Little Smokies" filled with cheddar. Weird, I know.

I have absolutely no explanation for this growing distaste, but I suspect the bacon and sausages are going to be the next casualties. I shall miss bacon. Also, I'm wondering what Thanksgiving dinner is going to consist of for me this year. Maybe turkey will sound good?

In the grand scheme of things this is fine with me, actually, because meat is really expensive right now and many of the animals raised for food are treated poorly. And, on top of all that, the gluten-free food I'm currently eating is also rather spendy. Although I recently had tests done at the doctor for wheat allergies and Celiac disease and they both came back negative, I'm still finding that I feel better when I stay away from wheat and gluteny products. I've found some really yummy (and actually good for me!) food to eat instead - I discovered I really enjoy goat's milk yogurt and Trader Joe's gluten free granola, for instance - but most of it is not cheap. So between the addition of the "specialty" foods and the removal of the meat, my grocery budget is only slightly higher than it was.

Another thing I've noticed: coffee no longer tastes very good to me. Unlike the meat, though, this is actually quite a disappointment. One of my favorite things in the morning was a good cup of coffee, and now I can't even seem to enjoy that! I switched back to Stumptown coffee (from my beloved Dunkin' Donuts - Goodbye forever, Boston....) in the hopes that would improve, and so far it appears to be a bit better. Jury's still out.

I have finally figured out the Twitter thing. I still don't think I'm going to be its #1 fan, but occasionally a random thought will pop into my head and no one will be around to share it with... Twitter to the rescue! I've updated my sidebar over there so you can see these occasional ideas or questions: feel free to follow me, if you like!

And, as an extension of that, I suspect posting will be light around here for a while. I can't really explain why, but I just haven't felt much like writing lately. Part of it is that the things that have been happening in my life have revolved around the things I pretty much do not discuss on my blog: work and my immediate family/friends. So I have just kept quiet and, on some levels, I'm wondering if the blogging "bug" may have run it's course? (I've been doing this for four years, after all!) So we shall see.

Further, I've been working through the 2009 edition of "What Color is Your Parachute" and reading a few other books in an effort to identify the next direction to take my life. I've never been one of those people who has known, since infancy, what career she wanted to pursue. I have multiple interests and a bunch of ideas right now, but nothing that seems to be "the one!" to pursue next. So when I have any extra energy, that's where I've been putting it. Which, to some extent, precludes writing here because there are only so many hours in the day and I find that I have to get more sleep now than I ever did before.

So... just to give ya'll fair warning: I likely won't be posting much for a while. I'm not closing up shop right now; just taking a mini-haitus. But check out my Twitter feed over there on the sidebar if you're curious about what I'm doing/thinking/sharing in a one-off, random manner. And I'll be stopping in at all your blogs as time allows.

Happy holidays and peace to you all. Things are going to get better in the world. I just know it.

Could someone please tell my dog...

2008-11-10T21:38:13Z

That she is not starving, and no, she may not have any of my not-really-egg-salad-sandwich-with-wheat-free-bread? And further, she is certainly not entitled to have a taste of everything I've made for myself to eat? Because clearly she is not listening to me.

Golly moses, can't a girl eat her faux food without getting barked at incessantly? Sheesh.

And speaking of wheat free bread: an extra special tidbit for those of you who avoid wheat and gluten products: New Cascadia Traditional has some wonderful gluten free bread products and desserts.

Last Friday I bought a French baguette, a loaf of sourdough and a vegan chocolate chip cookie and they are ALL wonderful. They also had a pumpkin pie that looked fabulous and some vegan chocolate cupcakes that looked like a little bit of heaven right here on earth. (I know these are good, btw - the brother of a friend of mine had one last summer at said friend's birthday party and it was fab.)

They're spendy but worth every penny for two reasons: 1) they don't taste anything like most gluten free breads I've ever tried (as in, these have flavor! and texture!) and 2) I don't have to actually spend time baking goods that require actual baking skills. All good.

There's a little store on NW Glisan in Portland and they're for sale at a couple Portland farmers' markets... looks like they'll have online ordering capabilities soon too.

Obama's Flickr Photostream

2008-11-10T14:24:44Z

I can't remember where I stumbled across this this, but it's pretty cool: lots of pics of Obama and family on election night.

And now the real work begins

2008-11-05T05:26:14Z

Wow. What a great, historic day is today. As I'm sure you might guess, I'm thrilled with the outcome of today's presidential election. And I'm relieved. So very, very relieved.

Now the real work begins, friends. Now, maybe, things willl begin to improve for all of us. I have hope again.

Sudden, inexplicable distaste for meat

2008-11-04T03:13:37Z

A few weeks ago, I did that Quantum Wellness cleanse. And as part of that cleanse, I discovered I felt better when I wasn't eating wheat. So over the last month, I've been slowwlly moving towards a wheat and gluten-free diet at home. (And I do mean slowly: it's been about a month now.)

And it's been good. I'm starting to find adequate - and even tasty, in most cases - substitutes for the stuff I really love (like pasta! and cookies!) and in general am finding it fairly easy to make the shift. Thanks to Trader Joe's.

Also thanks to Trader Joe's: for reasons I can't begin to comprehend, I am now suddenly grossed out by animal flesh. This started on Saturday morning when I picked up a package of 6 chicken breasts and a 1-lb container of ground turkey. I put them in my cart and started driving it around. About 10 minutes later I realized that I was a bit grossed out by the raw meat in my cart and further realized, "there is a snowball's chance in hell that I'm ever going to take that meat out of my freezer and cook it when I get it home." So I put the chicken and turkey back.

In the name of all that is good and holy, I cannot tell you - for the life of me - why I was grossed out by said animal products. I just knew better than to ignore my gut. And I thought that was that.

But later that day, I went out to dinner with a friend and ordered a chicken burrito (in a bowl, to avoid the flour tortilla!) and again, completely revolted by the chicken meat, I ended up picking around it and ate everything else.

So I'm a bit confused now. I've pretty much avoided pork for a while and now I'm cutting out beef, chicken and turkey too. I've never been a huge fan of fish and seafood so those don't sound all that good at this point. (Except sushi. Don't ask me to even try to explain that one...)

Anyone have an explanation for what might be going on here?? It's not that I'm horribly disappointed by not wanting to eat meat - I've been a vegetarian in the past, after all. It's that I don't entirely understand where this sudden distaste is coming from. I haven't had a negative experience with it recently, I'm not pregnant, and aside from being a bit overtired I feel fine. Has anyone else ever had this happen?

I guess if nothing else, it'll save me some cash in groceries!

(Oh, and also? Happy 3-year anniversary (of stopping drinking) to me! Hard to believe it's really been that long.)

Overheard at the Grocery Store...

2008-10-27T03:55:53Z

Clerk: That'll be thirty four, twenty two please.
Self: [Holding up a twenty, a ten and a five and seriously having some trouble adding] Um... that's thirty-five, right?
Clerk: Yes, that's thirty-five exactly.
Self: Hey, I can ...[searching for phrase] ...MATH!
Clerk: Hey, you can speak English, too, I see! [laughing]
Self: [Blushes, laughs and walks away as clerk fills in the customer behind me on what I'd just said...]

Not my finest moment, certainly, but at least it didn't involve vomit. :)

Yummy "Egg" Salad...

2008-10-17T05:08:00Z

Tonight I had my very first "egg" salad sandwich since 2003 when I bought one on my way to the beach and, 72 miles later, had to pull over along hwy ... something... and throw it up.

Not my finest moment. (Actually, now that I think about it, a lot of my 'less than fine moments' have involved vomiting. Must ponder that.)

So I'm just a touch sensitive to eggs. But the thing is, I love eggs. I love devilled eggs, egg salad, those Starbucks Egg & Cheese sandwich things... yum. Eggs are GOOD. Eggs just don't like me. (I can have small amounts of eggs, on occasion - which is how I know I love those Starbucks breakfast sandwiches - but definitely must not have them regularly. Or I pay for it. Dearly.)

Anyway! So after I threw up that egg salad sandwich I didn't have so much as a bite of egg salad for years. I gave up on the possibility of ever eating it again...

But then when I was doing that cleanse a couple weeks ago (for a day. I know. SHUT UP.) I ran across a "mock egg salad" recipe made with extra firm tofu and I realized how much I missed egg salad and thought it might be fun to give it a try. And then I took the book back to the library.

BUT! All was not lost. I Googled "eggless egg salad" and up popped Chez Bettay's recipe for "mocking egg salad."

Tonight, after finishing with work I whipped up a batch and I'LL BE DAMNED, but it's pretty dang close to tasting like egg salad! So for those of you who can't (or don't want to) eat actual eggs, you might want to give this a whirl.

Yummmm... yummy yum yum... Please excuse me now while I go have another sandwich....

Blatant Opinionatedness

2008-10-16T06:21:59Z

I don't think "opinionatedness" is, strictly speaking, a word, but I'm going to use it anyway. Because I'm all rebellious like that.

Anyway, last night I opened up my newspaper to the gossip section (because there's really nothing else it can be called) where they reported that Angelina Jolie had given her 7-year-old son some daggers.

DAGGERS, people. Not plastic light-saber replicas to play "Star Wars" with, not Legos, not an Easy-Bake Oven... No, she went and bought him some knives. So he could "learn how to defend himself."

Blink.

Blink. Blink.

To learn how to defend himself? Is she expecting him to carry these knives to school just in case? And for that matter, what kind of school does he go to that he needs to defend himself - with a KNIFE - from other snot-nosed kids?

Seriously, who gives their 7-year-old kid a knife?

The story then goes on to say that Ms. Jolie had, as a teenager, engaged in self-mutilation (also called "cutting") and also had "a relationship which involved ritual self-mutilation."

Does anyone else find this as disturbing as I do? It just seems so wrong to me, on so many levels, I don't even know where to start. Again, me being totally judgmental here, but WTF?

(Oh, and I just ran across this rather amusing take on the whole thing...)

Things I'm thinking (or, more to the point, worrying) about...

2008-10-10T05:37:07Z

The election. Obviously.
How sick Miss Rennie is going to get from eating (without my immediately realizing it) one of the stupid poisonous berries from the tree outside my door, and whether or not it's going to cost another exorbitant amount of money to get her better.
How I'm going to get facial wax off the butter knife I used to stir the tiny wax container.
Whether my lips and chin are going to break out as a result of said waxing.
Work. As usual.
How I'm going to beat the level I'm on in The Hobbit. Stupid orcses.
How many autoimmune diseases one person could potentially acquire. (Morbid, I know.)
My finances.
Whether my sister is remembering to balance her checkbook.
Why I had a dream I was pregnant.
How funny it would be if there were a band called "The Chixie Dicks."
Whether or not it's going to hurt when Miss Rennie gets her stitches out on Saturday.

Hey, I never said what I was thinking about was interesting.... :-)

Video Game Adventures

2008-10-07T05:34:45Z

Fall is finally here in the Pac Northwest and with it, day after day of rain, rain, rain. Last fall I didn't have a video game system, mostly because I was too busy to pay much attention to the gaming world, but since purchasing my Nintendo Wii in May I not only have an exer-gaming console to distract me from the weather (and doing a bit of exercise this afternoon did help refocus my thoughts from work frustrations), I also have a plethora of gaming opportunities I can access by downloading old games (including several of my favorite games from the Nintendo 64) and purchasing a wide variety of games originally created for the Nintendo Gamecube.

What I've found, though, is that the brilliance of the Wii is also its biggest downfall: you have to get up off your heiney and actually move. Move your arms, wave the remote while pushing specific button combinations, whatever... the thing puts you right in the action more than any video game I've played thus far. And yeah, I get that I'm kind of missing the point. :)

This is all well and good when you want to get up and move (and frankly, that's probably not a bad thing at all) but I grew up in the 80s, when video games lived primarily in arcades and were taller than the average adult; home gaming systems used cartridges and no one had ever heard of ergonomic anything. The joystick was the weapon of choice and sported a cube-shaped base with a stick in the middle. You could sit on your ass and play and wile away the afternoon without breaking a sweat.

When I first got my Wii, I pretty much "played" Wii Fit exclusively; but when I grew tired of that I downloaded Super Mario 64 and a couple older games like PacMan and Zelda. Perfect for playing without having to move. I also picked up Dance Dance Revolution, which - like Wii Fit - puts you into the action in a very intentional way.

When I first got my Wii, I picked up Endless Ocean and the African Safari games, which I found dull - just not enough strategy or challenge to keep me engaged. And then I bought Resident Evil IV for the Wii, which I played a grand total of 2 times because it had the opposite problem: way too much action.

I was thinking this game would be reminiscent of GoldenEye or Perfect Dark for the Nintendo 64, but this game goes wayyy beyond GoldenEye. My favorite video games combine a mix of action, strategy and - when called for - violence that is obviously fake. With Resident Evil IV the violence and images were just way too real and my brain apparently thought I was really killing zombies, because after playing the game a couple times I had several dreams that I was a young, attractive, 20-something guy called Leon Kennedy being chased by zombies wielding scythes and axes. [~shiver~] It creeped me out and I couldn't bring myself to play it again.

And then, over the summer my Wii just sat there until a few weeks ago while on my lunch break and I popped into the Play N Trade next door to the Taco Del Mar where I was picking up a burrito for lunch. What I discovered was a world of used video games and accessories; the used Wii games were not much cheaper than their new counterparts, but I was able to pick up 3 Gamecube games for $10 along with a Gamecube controller and memory card (required to play the Gamecube games on the Wii.)

Yesterday I went back with the above-mentioned Wii games to trade them in. Buying new video games, I'm learning, is a lot like buying a brand new car: the darn things lose about 60% of their retail value the minute you take the shrink-wrap off. (I suspect, too, that in the future I will get a better price for any Wii games on Amazon, but that's another discussion...)

Still, I was able to buy a couple more used Gamecube games and I now have discovered a number of fun games to play on my Wii console that do not require me to get up or wave my arms around. Huzzah!

The beauty (and also, potential hazzard) of the Gamecube games is that most of them are used; it doesn't look like they are making any new Gamecube games, but there seem to be a bazillion used copies out there to play when I get bored with my current library:
-- The Hobbit, which involves going on Bilbo Baggins' trek with the dwarves, completing tasks, killing a variety of villainous creatures, and solving problems.
-- Star Wars: Rogue Leader, which is a flying game and just challenging enough to keep me playing but not so hard I give up in frustration.
-- All-Star Baseball 2003, which is probably a better game for my dad than it is for me: it is baseball, obviously, but the real draw seems to be the ability to create teams and play whole seasons' worth of games while managing players and etc.

So my verdict on the Wii? So far, it's great for exercise-type titles (and I intend to pick up Jillian Michaels' Fitness Ultimatum and Wii Yoga when they are available) but for me its true value lies in its versatility and expandability. Now if they'd just release GoldenEye for download from the Wii store I'd be a truly happy camper! (And Bomberman 64. That one was fun too... :)

Various and Sundry Updates & Observations

2008-10-02T05:42:48Z

So life and work have been crazy busy lately and Rennie is continuing to recover quite nicely (although she continually tries to lick at her healing incision. Ugh.) I don't have a lot of big news to share, but here are a few things that have come up or amused me over the last few days:

Item the First: My aunt called this evening after having seen the talent portion of Sarah Palin's 1984 Miss Alaska competition to make sure I'd seen it. Why? Because I play the flute and the flute, in this video, is what Miss Palin tries to play... To echo my aunt's statement, "My yorkie could play the flute better than that!"

You've got to watch until at least about 1:30 in, when she goes completely off-key and the trumpet comes in and tries (not-quite-successfully) to drown her out. And it all goes downhill from there.

It's one of those "must look away but can't" kinds of situations; laugh-out-loud funny.

Item the Second: My dad called me over the weekend to tell me he'd seen an article somewhere about how a researcher recently found links between gluten and MS. And then a book arrived in the mail Monday that I'd ordered from the library a couple months ago after I read about it on dooce.com: Quantum Wellness by Kathy Freston.

In that book, Freston talks about how everyone has a sensitivity to gluten (though some people more than others) and how going on a cleanse - for anywhere from 1-2 days up to 21 days - can help your body re-energize, heal itself and recover from all the crap we subject it to on a daily basis. I'd poo-pooed my dad when he brought it up but reading the book kind of kicked me in the arse and made me really think things through a bit more. And given the wheat and gluten sensitivities in my family it makes sense that I might be less tolerant of wheat than I think I am.

In addition to avoiding gluten, the cleanse also includes abstaining from sugar, caffeine, alcohol and animal products which basically leaves vegetables, soy and rice (and also a variety of other random grains). And beans. And also, water. Lots and lots of water; like 2 quarts a day! (Donuts, sadly, are not on the menu for this particular cleanse.)

So what did I decide to do? Well, I decided that a cleanse sounded like a good idea (because I am, apparently, a masochist) but that I'd need to move toward the full cleanse slowly: because really, if I stop drinking coffee tomorrow I will cease to function. And then? Then my colleagues and friends at work will come hunt me down with intentions to kill me, except I'll already be mostly dead on account of the aforementioned lack of functioning.

So yeah. I value my job and would prefer to keep it. And my friends. So I'm going to gradually weed out the various "no-nos" slowly and begin suffering through the ensuing coffee-deprivation-hangover on Sunday when I don't have to actually accomplish anything more taxing than taking the dog outside to potty. The alcohol, obviously, has already been gone for a while (nearly three years now!!!) but the other items? ACK.

So I went to the grocery store this evening and picked up several items to start incorporating into my diet slowly. Things like carrots and lettuce and a bell pepper. I think they're called vegetables. I also bought some rice noodles and a box of quinoa. I don't know what's going to become of me because now that I've gotten these things home I'm not entirely sure what to do with them, but I figure I've put my intention to do this cleanse out into the universe and things will begin to make sense as I go along.

I do know that when I was making a real effort a while back - about 16 months ago now - to eat well I felt significantly better. The trouble was going from my current diet to something brand, spanking new all of a sudden. I ended up in a state of overwhelm and reverted to my old ways. So I'm going to just take small steps over the next few days, be mindful of what I'm putting into my body and gradually work towards being fully on the cleanse.

Item the Third: Did you know that virtually everything sold in the grocery store contains some kind of sweetener or sugar? Yeah, neither did I. This cutting out sugar business (and that includes molasses, high fructose corn syrup, honey and/or anything with a name ending in -ose) is going to be more challenging than I anticipated. Once I'm done with the cleanse it will be a bit easier to continue to eat healthily since everything under the sun won't be verboten, but for the moment? Yikes!

Item the Fourth: Healthy food costs a lot of money. And they don't make coupons for Barbara's Bakery brand cereals and Ener-G brand egg replacer powder or any other specialty food item. I spent $4.79 on a box of cereal this evening, which made me want to throw up just a little bit. I haven't paid more than $2 for a box of cereal in months and after spending months clipping coupons and watching the sales and figuring out the best prices it all feels a bit like a waste. Guess I'll just have to increase my grocery budget a bit. And start shopping at Trader Joe's.

Item the Fifth: Speaking of changing my health habits, yesterday I pre-ordered Jillian Michaels' Fitness Ultimatum for the Wii. I did Wii Fit fairly religiously for a little while and then got bored; then I got the Dance Dance Revolution!, which is fun but not terribly user-friendly. I do those workouts occasionally. But I've heard good things about Jillian Michaels' fitness videos and this game looks kind of like the Wii Fit on steroids, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Apparently, what I need is a serious arse-kicking. (See: Zee is a masochist, above.)

Item the Sixth: Tysabri infusion #6 tomorrow afternoon, followed the next morning by a visit to my neurologist. Here's hoping the IV insertion goes a bit more smoothly this time around!

And that's about all I got this time around...it's been a very weird week. I'm setting my Tivo to record the vice presidential debate tomorrow as I anticipate crashing after my appointment; but maybe we'll all get lucky and Ms. Palin will bring her flute!!

CURED!

2008-09-29T20:24:12Z

Rennie and I have just returned from a check-up visit to the vet, where we learned that she is now CANCER FREE! The lab results came back indicating that the cancer she had was one of the least aggressive forms out there, that the doctor had gotten all the cancer during the surgery and, further, that it had not spread to any of her lymph nodes. So she is CURED - no radiation or chemotherapy necessary at this time.

Obviously, I'll need to check her regularly to be sure nothing new shows up but for now she is healthy. Hallelujah!

This is the best news I've had all week. And on top of that, she seems to be feeling completely back to normal - she's running around, playing with her toys and waking me up at th crack of dawn to have breakfast. Situation normal.

She gets her stitches out on October 11. She's really going to need a bath by then... ;-)

I should not be allowed in Target when I'm tired

2008-09-26T03:27:24Z

Actually, in general, I probably shouldn't be allowed near Target. Tired or otherwise. Because I can ALWAYS find something to take home with me. This afternoon, on the way to the vet to pick up some pain meds and a spray for Rennie's tummy (for this nasty razor-burn/rash she has developed) I stopped in at Target to buy her some onesies and managed to "remember" that I'd been meaning to pick up another snuggly little bed for her too. And, while I was at it I had to swing through the Wii games section (bought nothing, thankfully), BUT THEN the Sex & the City movie jumped into my cart. I don't know how it got there but it ended up coming home with me.

The goal with the onesies is to keep Rennie from picking or licking at her tummy/incision and also, I want to avoid putting that ridiculous cone back on (because she really does hate it.) So far the onesie is working quite well, and to top things off, she looks adorable! (Thanks to KimHolland for the tip!) More photos of Miss Ren in her t-shirt are here.

Sigh. Some days I should just not go into any store. But I really had been wanting to get another doggy bed for the living room so it's just as well. And this one (which she's laying on in the pictures) is made from a SUPER-cosy fleecy material and she looks like she's in heaven lying on that thing. So it's all good.

Rennie is continuing to improve, though I was still worried about her a bit this morning (which is what prompted the call to the vet for pain meds and something for her rash.) However, she seemed to be feeling significantly better when I got home from work this afternoon and the spray and pain meds seem to be helping as well. (Actually, the spray they gave me seemed to start working almost instantly: the redness started to fade and she seemed to relax. I don't know what's in that stuff, but I'm going to start calling it the Miracle Spray.)

So she's on the mend. Now we just have to wait for the results of the pathology tests... My fingers (and toes) are firmly crossed.

Rennie Cancer Update: Surgery Complete, Puppy Resting Comfortably

2008-09-23T22:38:35Z

I just got a call from the vet: Rennie is now awake following a 52-minute surgery. All went smoothly, the vet said, though he ended up taking 3 mammary glands instead of the two he'd anticipated.

The tissue sample has been marked and sent to the lab for review and we'll hear more soon about whether he missed anything or if any of her lymph nodes were involved. (Fingers crossed they are not.) Vet promised to call me as soon as he hears from them. Whether she has radiation or chemo will be decided based on what the lab finds. (I don't even want to think about what that will cost. :-P)

Anyway, apparently she's now resting comfortably after a small dose of pain meds. She should be able to come home tomorrow. Hooray!

I'm resting a bit easier now myself, knowing she's past the hardest part, but I will update when I know more.

Update, 9:30 p.m.: I got a call from the vet around 3:30 today to let me know Rennie was doing much better than expected and I could pick her up around 6 p.m.. When I got there and he brought her in, he told me she was Wonder Dog - he'd apparently never seen a dog recover so quickly from such an extensive surgery. She began whining immediately.

The vet insisted this was because she was happy to see me. This was ridiculous, and I told him so (because when she's happy to see me - or anyone, for that matter - she pees on the floor) and asked if there were some pain meds I could give her. He said no.

So she continued to whine all the way home (and I still thought it was because she was in pain) but after moving the dog food container slightly at one point and watching her spring out of her bed I realized the whining was because she was starving - which makes sense, since she'd had nothing to eat since 7 p.m. last night! So despite the vet's instructions to hold off feeding her until tomorrow, I gave her a few pieces of kibble and a couple of linguine noodles (which is what I had for dinner). Apparently the anesthetic could have upset her tummy, but I figured I'd rather clean up barf than listen to her whine. So far no vomit and the whining has stopped. :)

So she's now home and fed and swaddled up on the couch resting. The incision runs from slightly below her ribs down to just above her crotch (do dogs have a crotch? :) and Oh. My. God. is it ugly. For having had such an extensive cut in her abdomen, she's moving around quite well, actually. She even took a trip outside to potty without any trouble at all. So that's good.

The vet sent me home with one of those head cones that keep animals from picking at their stitches: I'll take a couple pictures of her in it tomorrow because it's just the silliest thing. (Her incision, however, is a bit too gruesome to photograph and share on the innernets. Poor puppy's gotta keep some dignity.)

My dog has breast cancer

2008-09-20T03:39:52Z

There's a sentence I never thought I'd utter, let alone type.

But that, people, is essentially what it is. A malignant mammary tumor. That's the bad news.

The good news is that it is very treatable (apparently) and Rennie is otherwise in very good health: the vet said her blood work-up and x-rays looked good. So she goes in for surgery on Tuesday and because we caught it so quickly the vet believes he'll be able to get all the offending tissue by removing the lump and the mammary glands in front of and behind where the lump is. Fortunately, it doesn't appear to have spread to any of the lymph nodes.

According to this Wikipedia page, surgery is the treatment of choice while chemotherapy is rarely used. More info is here. What I'm finding to be very interesting is the discussion on these pages of the tie between when a dog is spayed and the likelihood of developing mammary cancer.

Rennie fits the profile: she was spayed just as she was coming in to her second heat cycle (in April 2006, so a couple months before she turned 2). Apparently if you spay them before their first cycle it reduces the potential for cancer to almost zero. Wow.

So I've got my pooch at home for a couple of days now and then the worrying begins again on Tuesday. I will report back as things progress but for the next few days I anticipate things will be fairly quiet...

Although Rennie has cancer - which, let's face it, is sucky no matter how you try to spin it - I'm feeling grateful for the good pieces of news I got today: that it's very treatable and that she will likely be just fine. I'm also extremely grateful for my family and friends (and all ya'll who've posted comments or emailed me), who have shown such love and support the last couple days. I'm very blessed.

Of course, in all the hubbub around Rennie today I neglected to pick up my gift for my grandmother's birthday. ARGH. Guess what I will be doing tomorrow! :)