The phone rang midmorning today and on the other end of the line was a representative of my State Farm insurance agent calling to tell me that, surprise! They hadn't yet managed to sell me any life insurance! I knew this, already, and had made the decision, consciously, not to purchase any, so I wasn't sure why she thought calling me was a good idea, but I listened patiently while she went through her spiel.

When she was through, I politely told her that, at the moment, I had life insurance and accidental death & dismemberment (that word gives me the willies...) through my employer but thank you anyway. Oh, and by the way, what are their long-term care policies like?

Well, she told me cheerfully, we can sell you one of those!

And then, knowing full well that she couldn't sell me one, I mentioned my MS and asked if she could still sell me one. Well, she'd have to check on that, she said. So we hung up and I forgot about the conversation entirely. She called me back later this afternoon with the news that, Oops! Sorry, no can do!

Now, let me just say: this came as ZERO surprise. I was pretty sure she'd come back with that answer. But I was not prepared for the wave of anger that washed over me after I hung up the phone.

Not anger at her, of course - I'm sure she would have sold me anything I wanted to buy if she could have. No, it was anger at the whole fucking system that makes it so that the people who freaking need it the most cannot get coverage of any kind. I understand the way things work - the better health you're in, the less likely the insurance company is to have to pay out a bunch of money to care for you, and the happier they are to take your yearly premiums. I get that.

My frustration with it should be obvious: IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. (And yeah, I know. Life's not fair.) I understand the thinking behind it, but what just seems completely wrong is that there are no affordable, useful options for the people who are NOT in perfect health. This is the way it is with life insurance, health insurance, long-term care insurance, every kind of insurance that might help people feel more secure about having a permanent disease.

And what's even worse is that the people with these life-long, incurable illnesses typically are spending much more money on healthcare anyway, and yet they're charged MORE than the 100% healthy person. It's no freaking wonder that healthcare costs so much: the people who need it the most can't get covered and if they can, they must pay through the nose for subpar coverage that basically covers you for acute problems.

It just isn't fair right, and it seems to me that something ought to be done about it. The problem is, I don't know what can be done about it. But I do know this: I'm going to start looking into how I can help change things. Because somebody's got to.

GARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!