First: my deepest apologies to those of you who tortured yourself with my last post. I was truly a cranky-butt and taking it out on the Internet is no way to deal with that. I am sorry.

However, the folks who did leave comments were, as usual, tres insightful. Jen's suggestion that "planned crappiness" is superior to "unpredictable crappiness" gave me pause for thought. Obviously, NO crappiness would be the ideal but since we've got to feel crappy I'm with her: planning it is certainly better than having it show up at random, wreak havoc and then go away to some degree or another.

But I think I'd be less cranky about the Avonex-induced crappiness if it were more than 30% effective at reducing exacerbations and slowing the progression of the disease. (Check me out: rating the levels of crappiness. HA!) The sad fact is that, while it appears to be one of the better drugs on the market, it's no miracle drug. There really aren't any miracle drugs out there. Even Tysabri, which is one of the best drugs out there right now, carries risks and is only 60% effective. Yes, it's helped some people in some amazing ways but the fact of the matter is, it has not been studied for longer than two years. So while it can help, we really don't know what the longer term ramifications are. Plus, not everyone is able to take it, due to allergy or whatever.

The point is, I need to get into acceptance about the MS and just move forward and try not to get too resentful.

BUT the good news is, I think I may have hit on a dosing schedule with the Avonex that could work for me! After taking the Avonex at noon yesterday, the side effects really started to hit at around 9:30ish pm. I went to bed around 10:30 and although I was starting to feel a headache and some body aches, I was able to get to sleep fairly quickly. When I awoke this morning at 7 I was groggy but ok after I got up and moving and had a cup of coffee.

Hopefully this will work for me for a while - I'm not sure why it's taken 8.5 months to figure this out but, well, there you have it. We'll try it again next Monday and see if it'll turn into a routine! I am in a more positive mood now, with the hope that I might have found a way to truly manage this stuff.

So after working for about 6 hours today, my boss IM'd me and told me I could log off early, since I'd worked so much yesterday. And with the extra time in the afternoon - before my hair appointment at 5:15 - I transplanted my new herbs into their bigger pots. They're now out on the deck looking lovely, if a bit small, at this point! I think I'm going to pick up one more planter thingy so I can plant some cilantro. That stuff goes all over the place so it would be good to have it slightly contained.

I also discovered, while out on the deck transplanting my little plants, that Rennie no longer has any fear of running down the flight of stairs... so I need to get a baby gate or something, before the start of summer, for the top of the stairs if I'm going to be spending any amount of time out there with her.