Fugue State
The rather squishy concept of the "fugue state," which is medically described as "an altered state of consciousness in which a person may move about purposely and even speak but is not fully aware" has been popping up with alarming frequency over the last few weeks.
The first time I heard the term was on Christmas eve, when I was visiting with my friend and he made mention of having been in one during the previous year. Having never heard the term before, I asked what it meant, and he described it as, "that feeling where you suddenly don't remember what you were just doing, or where you feel like you're not sure what you've just spent the last couple days or weeks doing." (Sounds sort of like an alcoholic blackout, now I think about it, but I digress...)
Anyway, so we discussed it briefly and moved on and I didn't give it another thought until this afternoon while reading a post on Wil Wheaton's blog. He too described having awoken one morning in such a funk and, determined to get to the bottom of what this thing was, I went on a web hunt.
(Be vewwy vewwy quiet. We're hunting wabbits!)
Errr, ya. Ahem.
Anyway! What I found on said web hunt was this blog, Fugue State, about a woman who buys a cello and begins learning to play it as an adult. I don't know why, but I find her writing and journeys to be charming - at least after glancing through a few recent posts.
It got me to thinking, though, about how much I've been pining away for my piano. I desperately miss it. I miss walking by it and sitting down for a quick Bach prelude. And I miss losing looking up after practicing for a while, wrists aching just a bit, and realizing I've just spent more than two hours working on the same 4 measures, trying to get them right. I miss just having it there, adding music to my life just by being in the room.
Several people have asked me why I don't sell my flute and use the cash for a piano. Considering I rarely play the thing and the cash from selling it would probably net me enough to purchase a lovely upright or console, it almost seems like a waste of resources not to sell it. But I just cannot do it.
I've thought about it. Really I have. I have seriously considered selling it on a couple different occasions for reasons involving only monetary gain.
But I just can't do it, because at one point I played my flute every day. I loved playing it. And on some deeper level, I think I'm hoping that the joy and love I once had surrounding my flute playing will return.
Comments
I like it! You've gone from discussing "Fugue State" to buying a piano...sounds more like a "Dissociative State", but then again, we BOTH digress! LOL
Linda D. in Seattle
Posted by: Linda D. | January 11, 2007 10:58 AM