Weepy
For reasons I cannot begin to explain, I am uncharacteristically weepy tonight. It all started when I was watching this John Denver retrospective/documentary on PBS (for those of you in Portland, it repeats tonight and Sunday!) and I got all choked up at all the sentimental songs - particularly "Sunshine on My Shoulders." I know this probably isn't "cool" among my generation, but I have to admit - I heart John Denver. (Btw, there's a great scene in this documentary where John Denver sings "Take Me Home, Country Roads" with Johnny Cash. Johnny's in his characteristic black; John's wearing a flowered-70s shirt. So. COOL.)
Anyway, so I got all choked up during that special and then watched "What a Girl Wants" (for the Colin Firth factor! YUM!) and found myself getting all weepy at that, too. (It's a cute movie - definitely worth watching on cable.)
And then I logged onto the web to read some blogs and learned that one of the MS-bloggers I've been reading about is having ongoing trouble w/ her disease and, likely, it is worsening. She's going on Novantrone for a little while to see if they can get the symptoms under control. (Sending prayers and good thoughts her way!) But this got me a bit choked up too. I'm still in the early stages of my disease but, right now, the symptoms are not going away as quickly as I would like and I'm looking at changing things in my life a rather drastic way for a while. It's all so disheartening!
I think the thing that is most remarkable about all this weeping is that, for the last 10 months or so (since I stopped drinking) my heart has felt generally numb. I think I've cried - I mean really cried - maybe twice in the last 10 months. So to get all weepy over these little things seems strange and weird. Anyway, on some levels I think what I need is a good cry and perhaps what all this means is that I'm finally recapturing some of my emotions?
Hard to say.
What I do know is that I need to a) focus on the positive things in my life; those things that bring me joy and put a smile on my face; and b) stop listening to sappy John Denver songs!
Comments
I heart JD as well even if he isn't "cool" to our generation ;)
I'm starting to pack up all my stuff to put in storage for the month of Oct, I'm sure you know how much fun moving is . . . at least my dad is here to join in the fun times!
Just remember, one day at a time & keep on smilin!
Posted by: Sara | September 9, 2006 04:03 AM
Well, I actually grew up on JD...guess that's tell-tale for how OLD I am!
Sorry you're weepy, but then again, it might just be a "good thing" (in the words of Martha Stewart).
Take care,
Linda D. in Seattle
Posted by: Linda D. | September 9, 2006 04:07 PM
I am sorry to hear that you have been emotional lately. I think we all have our moments where we are more emotional about things than we think we should be. I don't know if it is the MS, the medications, or just ourself changing the way we look at life. Maybe it is a combination of things. Just remember you are not alone and if you ever want to talk you can contact me! :)
I really appreicate your thoughts and prayers towards what I am going through with my MS. I think you are right in regards to trying to focus on the positive things in our lives. It is important to stay positive and take things one day at a time.
You are in my thoughts and prayers as well. Please take care of yourself and if you need anything you know how to reach me!
Posted by: Jaime | September 10, 2006 11:40 AM