There was an interesting story published in NY Newsday today about a doctor that tried using a chemotherapy drug for the treatment of Multiple Sclerosis. Apparently, the odds of death with this treatment are one in 100 (compare that with the one-in-1000 from Tysabri) but it supposedly obliterates the patient's immune system, which then regenerates new T-cells that don't carry the disease... From the story:

The medicine was infused into patients two hours a day for four days. They stayed in the hospital an additional two weeks. And because it wiped out their immune systems, they lived in a sterile environment with little access to the outside world. ... Results of the study were published this week in the Archives of Neurology. ... The multiple sclerosis patients were followed from six to 24 months. No one got worse, and five people actually got better, he said.

Interesting stuff. What I wonder is, what will happen 3 or 4 or 10 years down the line. Will these patients eventually degenerate and, if so, how quickly? Obviously, this is not a treatment I'm likely a candidate for (and it's probably not even sanctioned by the FDA at this point either) but it's interesting to read about what the doctors are doing to find a cure.

But what if this is it? What if this "cures" MS? To live a lifetime free of the crazy neuro-issues and longterm disability and weekly (or daily, in some cases) injections, how many would choose to put themselves at such risk (1 in a 100, remember) to be completely cured? At this point, I'm not sure I would be willing to do it even if it meant I'd never have to give myself another injection or IV steroid infusion or whatever. If I were significantly disabled, though, I can see how this would be a no-brainer.

Then again, I'm discovering that my mental health is suffering just a bit right now. My neurologist warned me that the Avonex can cause depression, but since I already am being treated for depression I figured I wouldn't have much to worry about in that regard. Well, I've noticed some feelings of apathy and general malaise creeping in over the last couple weeks.

Although I've been through the depression "cycle" mutliple times now and even knew that depression was a potential side effect of the new drugs, this latest episode has kind of caught me off guard. It didn't even occur to me that it might be contributing to my fatigue until this afternoon... I had one of those "A-Ha!" moments, when it all just clicked.

So today I called and made an appointment with my shrink. Spending some time talking about the recent changes in my life is probably a good idea. I have certainly processed everything intellectually but I don't think I've truly digested it all on an emotional level. Unfortunately, since I don't see my psychiatrist on anything like a regular basis I have to wait a month for a full hour visit, so in the meantime I'm going to see him in a week to discuss medication dosages and hopefully that will get me on the right track.

In addition to the depression causing my fatigue and frustration, I think on some levels it's a bit of a vicious cycle: I'm getting depressed as a result of the medication and the disease and fatigue and that, in turn, is creating more depression. And all this as I'm taking anti-depression meds! It's wacky, I tell you. Terribly wacky. And, frankly, not the least bit fair.

It's got me longing to be "normal." Whatever that means.

(P.S. Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes!! You all are wonderfully lovely. :)