Well, I am long overdue for a post, but I have been so tired and emotional and frustrated with my health lately that I just have not felt like writing. In fact, this is going to be a very short post because I am on my way to take a nap. I did want to check in, though, since it's been a while.

The last couple weeks have been really difficult, emotionally. Monday I really broke down and cried and just felt totally lonely and despondent and frustrated. But I did realize that a lot of the sadness and frustration was likely due to the Avonex injection the day before. I was pretty sad last week the day after the injection as well (my birthday, recall...) so this appears to be becoming a pattern rather than an isolated incident.

Thank God for great friends who help me laugh at myself and recognize things I might not otherwise see on my own.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next Friday to talk about the Avonex and anti-depressants. I guess I'll just wait and see what his suggestion is. If that doesn't help with the Avonex-induced depression I'm going to ask my neurologist if I can try taking Copaxone. Apparently, unlike the Interferons, Copaxone doesn't cause depression or flu-like symptoms. Its primary downside, at least as far as I'm concerned, is that it's a daily injection. I really do want to be on a "disease modifying drug" because it's important to me that we control the progression of the disease, but if the side effects are as bad or worse than MS itself I think I'd rather take my chances.

And, on top of all this, I've been experiencing some ridiculous, bone-crushing fatigue. I do ok as long as I'm able to stay home and work. But when I have to get up and go somewhere I last about half a day and then I'm wiped out the remainder of the day. I don't know how much of this is a part of the depression and how much is actual MS-related fatigue but I do know that it's debilitating and frustrating!! I spent most of yesterday afternoon in bed and that's the way this afternoon is looking too. I also have taken tomorrow off and the plan is to rest most of the day and try to get some really good sleep.

So we'll see. I'm hoping things start turning around soon. Thank heavens it's slow at work these days or I'd be in a world of hurt!